June 7th, 2020

Gun Humor — Wisecracks Heard at the Range

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

Shooting can be a frustrating sport at times, prompting shooters to say some funny things in the heat of the moment. Here’s a collection of humorous range riposts, supplied by Shooters’ Forum members (who are listed after each quote). Enjoy. (CLICK HERE for full Forum Funny Saying Thread).

“I paid to use all of the target and I’m getting value for money on all of the real estate!” (Macropod)

“How did I do?” “Well the gun went off and nobody got hurt, we can build on that….” (Mr. Majestic)

“Treat that trigger likes it’s your first date, not like you’ve been married to it for 20 years.” (Jet)

“It’s a good thing broad sides of barns aren’t at many shooting ranges.” (Rocky F.)

“At 65 years of age, 1000-yard benchrest is better than sex, because a relay lasts 10 minutes!” (The Viper)

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

“If you chase the wind, it will always win.” (Boltline13)

“It’s not the arrow, it’s the Indian.” (Rocky F.)

“It was an 0.2″ group! Well, err, except for that flyer….” (Dsandfort, photo by RyanJay11)

“I can’t understand it. That load worked good in my other barrel”. (Hogpatrol)

“You bakin a biscuit?” Said to me as I was sitting at the bench ready to shoot with a cartridge in the chamber of a hot gun, taking longer than necessary. (Ebb)

“Shooting groups is easy. Just put the last three between the first two.” (Uthink)

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

“There is no Alibi for Stupid” (Seen at Berger SWN — Erik Cortina)

Shooter 1: “Hey you cross-fired on my target!” Shooter 2: “Well you cross-fired on mine first.”
Shooter 1: “Yeah but you could have at least shot an X like I did on yours.” (At Raton — Rocky F.)

“I had a bughole going and my second shot dropped straight down!” (JDMock)

“The nut came loose on the end of my stock.” (TXDan)

Quoting James Crofts: “That’s a pretty eight.” (REastman)

“I almost shot a record.” (Jay Christopherson)

Permalink - Articles, News, Shooting Skills 1 Comment »
October 30th, 2019

Jerry Miculek Carves a Pumpkin with a Barrett .50 BMG

In October 2015, the legendary Jerry Miculek won the Trijicon Shooting Challenge at the Rockcastle Shooting Center. That impressive victory earned Jerry big bucks — a $50,000 grand prize. By any measure, that’s some serious cash — mucho dinero.

To celebrate his October Trijicon Challenge victory, Jerry Miculek decided to do some pumpkin carving — with a .50 BMG Barrett rifle.

Shooting the 30-lb rifle off-hand, Jerry blasted some serious holes in Mr. Pumpkin. Needless to say, the results were dramatic, if somewhat messy. Advancing the science of terminal ballistics, Jerry (not surprisingly) confirmed that “the 663-grain bullet did manage to penetrate the pumpkin all the way.”

Jerry Miculek earned $50,000 as the winner of the 2015 Trijicon Challenge.
Trijicon Challenge Miculek

Permalink - Videos, News No Comments »
February 14th, 2019

Epic Facebook Post — Rifle Ranges vs. Golf Courses

Golf shooting range

“Golf — the willful misuse of a perfectly good rifle range.”
Here’s a humorous illustration that pokes fun at the game of golf. We posted this on Facebook a couple seasons back. To our great surprise this generated 356 shares, and reached 22,000+ readers, making this the most popular AccurateShooter Facebook post ever at the time.

So, what do you think — should golf courses be converted to shooting ranges? Is golf truly a “good [shoot] spoiled”? This photo was shared by our shooting buddy Jim de Kort from Holland.

CLICK HERE to follow us on Facebook.
Click the LIKE button to get regular updates.

Here are some comments from our Facebook fans:

“Actually golf and shooting are similar sports. Trying to shoot a small object into a small hole from long range.” — Eric A.

“You can hit a golf ball 300 yards, but I can hit a golf ball AT 1000 yards.” — Zach S.

“The game should be changed. You should hit the ball out as far as possible, then get your rifle out and hit the golf ball. The most golf balls hits… with the rifle wins!” — Hui H.

Some rifle ranges certainly are beautiful enough to be country clubs. Here is the scenic General Vokes Range in British Columbia, Canada:

General Vokes range chilliwack British Columbia BC Canada

Permalink News, Tactical 1 Comment »
March 14th, 2017

The Insufferables — 7 Annoying Shootists You’ll Find at Matches

Here’s a very funny video that should put a smile on your face — especially if you’ve ever competed in action shooting events. This tongue-in-cheek video from the SuperSetCA team identifies seven (7) annoying/insufferable types of shooters you’ll find at shooting matches. You can’t help but chuckle watching this video. The satire is “dead on” — we’ve all met these kind of clowns at one time or another.

Seven Types Shooters Comedy spoof lampoon

Among the personality types lampooned by the video are the “way too serious” type, the completely unprepared type, the “Hollywood” show-off, the “always an excuse” type, and of course the “I’m too old for this” competitor. As a shooter past age sixty, this Editor might even fall into that category — at least when it comes to “run and gun” games. When I’m asked to gallop around a range carrying heavy gear, yes I’ve been known to mutter: “I’m too [insert swear word] old for this….”

Seven Types Shooters Comedy spoof lampoon

Here’s an extra challenge for you. According to the video’s producers, there are several TV and/or Movie references sprinkled throughout. Can you name them all (with run-times)? (Hint, look for Lethal Weapon and Matrix spoofs).

Permalink - Videos, Handguns 2 Comments »
March 24th, 2016

March Madness — Why Shooting Is Harder Than Basketball

Basketball Hap Rocketto March Madness

We are in the midst of “March Madness” — the annual NCAA college basketball tournament. Here’s a clever piece by Hap Rocketto that examines the game of B-Ball and explains why shooting targets is actually more difficult than shooting hoops. This story originally appeared in the Hap’s Corner section of Pronematch.com. Hap is a rare talent in the gun world — a serious shooter who also has unique insights, and a great sense of humor. We recommend you visit Pronematch.com to enjoy the many other interesting Hap’s Corner postings.


by Hap Rocketto
I know shooting is tougher than basketball…. Come on, just how difficult is it for five tall guys to help each other toss a big ball into a basket? Granted basketball is more physically demanding than shooting a rifle, but I think that blasting a quarter-size group into the center of the target at 100 yards all by yourself is a far more difficult task than working as a team to dunk a ball.

Therefore, in the style of Late Night talk show host David Letterman, I have constructed a list of ten reasons why rifle shooting is tougher than basketball.

TOP TEN REASONS Why Rifle Shooting is Tougher Than Basketball

10. When you get tired in basketball the coach just calls time out and replaces you with someone fresh. Not so in shooting.

9. When’s the last time a basketball player had to make a shot with the sun in his eyes?

8. How often does a basketball player have a perfectly good shot blown out by the wind?

7. If a basketball player places a shot a little higher than intended, no problem. The backboard causes the ball to bounce into the basket. No such luck in shooting.

6. Rifle matches commonly run all day. When was the last time you saw a basketball game run more than an hour or so?

5. If you’re not making your shots in basketball, you can just pass the ball to someone who is hot. No such convenience in shooting.

4. Rifle bullets travel faster than the speed of sound (roughly 300 meters per second). Basketballs top out at around 15 meters per second.

3. A basketball player can shoot from anywhere on the court that is convenient and comfortable. All riflemen shoot from the same distance.

2. A basketball player may shoot as often as the opportunity arises and is not limited to the number of shots taken. A rifle match requires that each rifleman shoot the same number of record shots. If they shoot more than allowed, then a penalty follows.

1. And the Number One reason why shooting is tougher than basketball is that, if you miss a shot in basketball you, or a team mate, can just jump up, grab the ball, and try again. Try that in shooting.

The only real similarity between the two sports is that a competitor attempts to score points by shooting. In rifle it is through a hard-hold and easy squeeze in prone, sitting, kneeling and standing; while in basketball it is via hook shots, jump shots, lay-ups, or the dramatic, ever crowd-pleasing, slam dunk.

About the Author: Hap Rocketto is a Distinguished Rifleman with service and smallbore rifle, member of The Presidents Hundred, and the National Guard’s Chief’s 50. He is a National Smallbore Record holder, a member of the 1600 Club and the Connecticut Shooters’ Hall Of Fame. A historian of the shooting sports, his work appears in Shooting Sports USA, the late Precision Shooting Magazine, The Outdoor Message, the American Rifleman, the CMP website, and Pronematch.com.

Credit John Puol for finding this article and communicating with Hap Rocketto.

Permalink - Articles, Shooting Skills 3 Comments »
February 28th, 2015

Firing Line Funnies — Humor from the Range

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

Shooting can be a frustrating sport at times, prompting shooters to say some funny things in the heat of the moment. Here’s a collection of humorous range riposts, supplied by Shooters’ Forum members (who are listed after each quote). Enjoy. (CLICK HERE for full Forum Funny Saying Thread).

“I paid to use all of the target and I’m getting value for money on all of the real estate!” (Macropod)

“How did I do?” “Well the gun went off and nobody got hurt, we can build on that….” (Mr. Majestic)

“Treat that trigger likes it’s your first date, not like you’ve been married to it for 20 years.” (Jet)

“It’s a good thing broad sides of barns aren’t at many shooting ranges.” (Rocky F.)

“At 65 years of age, 1000-yard benchrest is better than sex, because a relay lasts 10 minutes!” (The Viper)

“If you flip the safety off, velocity will increase 1000%” (Rope2Horns)

“If you chase the wind, it will always win.” (Boltline13)

“It’s not the arrow, it’s the Indian.” (Rocky F.)

“It was an 0.2″ group! Well, err, except for that flyer….” (Dsandfort, photo by RyanJay11)

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

“I can’t understand it. That load worked good in my other barrel”. (Hogpatrol)

“You bakin a biscuit?” Said to me as I was sitting at the bench ready to shoot with a cartridge in the chamber of a hot gun, taking longer than necessary. (Ebb)

“Shooting groups is easy. Just put the last three between the first two.” (Uthink)

“There is no Alibi for Stupid” (Seen at Berger SWN — Erik Cortina)

Accurateshooter.com Range Humor joke funny quote

“I just shot two Xs, how can that be an 8!!!???” (Snuggie)

Shooter 1: “Hey you cross-fired on my target!” Shooter 2: “Well you cross-fired on mine first.”
Shooter 1: “Yeah but you could have at least shot an X like I did on yours.” (At Raton — Rocky F.)

“I had a bughole going and my second shot dropped straight down!” (JDMock)

“The nut came loose on the end of my stock.” (TXDan)

Quoting James Crofts: “That’s a pretty eight.” (REastman)

“I almost shot a record.” (Jay Christopherson)

Permalink Competition 3 Comments »
April 17th, 2009

Deer 1, Hunter 0 — Or Why You Should Practice Before the Hunt.

Should you sight-in your rifle and practice shooting before you head off into the woods on your deer-hunting trip? Yes, indeed. In the video below we don’t know whether the unlucky hunter’s scope wasn’t adjusted correctly, or maybe he was just a miserable marksman. Many of you may have seen this video before, but it’s still pretty amazing. NOTE: If you are at work, you may want to turn down your volume before launching the video.

YouTube Preview Image
Permalink - Videos No Comments »