Gun Humor — Wisecracks Heard at the Range

Shooting can be a frustrating sport at times, prompting shooters to say some funny things in the heat of the moment. Here’s a collection of humorous range ripostes, supplied by Shooters’ Forum members (who are listed after each quote). Enjoy. (CLICK HERE for full Forum Funny Saying Thread).

“I paid to use all of the target and I’m getting value for money on all of the real estate!” (Macropod)

“How did I do?” “Well the gun went off and nobody got hurt, we can build on that….” (Mr. Majestic)

“Treat that trigger likes it’s your first date, not like you’ve been married to it for 20 years.” (Jet)

“It’s a good thing broad sides of barns aren’t at many shooting ranges.” (Rocky F.)

“At 65 years of age, 1000-yard benchrest is better than sex, because a relay lasts 10 minutes!” (The Viper)

“If you chase the wind, it will always win.” (Boltline13)

“It’s not the arrow, it’s the Indian.” (Rocky F.)

“It was an 0.2″ group! Well, err, except for that flyer….” (Dsandfort, photo by RyanJay11)

“I can’t understand it. That load worked good in my other barrel”. (Hogpatrol)

“You bakin a biscuit?” Said to me as I was sitting at the bench ready to shoot with a cartridge in the chamber of a hot gun, taking longer than necessary. (Ebb)

“Shooting groups is easy. Just put the last three between the first two.” (Uthink)

“There is no Alibi for Stupid” (Seen at Berger SWN — Erik Cortina)

Shooter 1: “Hey you cross-fired on my target!” Shooter 2: “Well you cross-fired on mine first.”
Shooter 1: “Yeah but you could have at least shot an X like I did on yours.” (At Raton — Rocky F.)

“I had a bughole going and my second shot dropped straight down!” (JDMock)

“The nut came loose on the end of my stock.” (TXDan)

Quoting James Crofts: “That’s a pretty eight.” (REastman)

“I almost shot a record.” (Jay Christopherson)