U.S. Border Patrol Replaces Guns with NLAIM Paint Markers
The U.S. Border Patrol Agency has been ordered to “give up its guns”, starting this summer. In a surprise directive issued this morning, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), parent agency of the Border Patrol, announced that up to one-half of U.S. Border Patrol Agents will be required to turn in their firearms, starting August 1, 2011. The current issue sidearm of the Border Patrol is the HK P2000 LEM in .40 SW, but Agents many also carry rifles and shotguns. Duty Weapons will be replaced by non-lethal dye markers, similar to paintball guns.
Agents to Be Disarmed in Border Areas
Speaking at a Washington, DC press conference, Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano stated that stripping the Border Patrol of lethal weapons reflects the “long-stated objective of this Adminstration to value human life over all other lesser considerations.” Napolitano stressed that the Border Patrol would not be required to give up all its firearms. The Patrol would still maintain pistols, rifles, and shotguns in “secure lock-ups” removed from the “immediate border area”.
The goal of the policy shift, Napolitano stated, is to eliminate the risk of accidental or unintentional injury to “wayward travelers and undocumented citizens”. Napolitano denied that confiscation of Border Patrol Agents’ firearms was a response to “trigger-happy men in green”. Napolitano stated: “I have the greatest faith in our men and women in the Border force”, adding that “we are now giving those Agents viable non-lethal technologies with which they can carry out their duties”.
Firearms Replaced by Non-Lethal Alien Immigrant Marker System (NLAIM)
The technologies cited by Director Napolitano include the new Non-Lethal Alien Immigrant Marker (NLAIM) which will be provided to Border Patrol agents on the “front line”, i.e. those who actively patrol the southern border. The NLAIM is a pneumatic device that propels small, liquid-filled marker balls at effective ranges up to 50 feet. Once released, the liquid inside the balls leaves a highly-visible, long-lasting dye mark on anything it contacts. In addition, the dye marker solution is activated by body heat so it literally “glows in the dark” when viewed through night-vision optics.
Is NLAIM Technology Really Something New?
Critics of NLAIM technology claim that NLAIM devices are merely over-priced versions of recreational paintball guns, many of which sell for under $200.00. NLAIMs, which will be provided in both pistol and carbine configurations, cost nearly $2700.00 each, not including transport modules. A total of 10,000 NLAIMs will be delivered to the Border Patrol under a no-bid DHS contract valued at $26.8 million dollars. Some of that cost will be offset by revenues earned from the recycling of current Border Patrol firearms which will be decommissioned, melted down, and sold for scrap.
Chief Border Patrol Agent Randall Sikes (Del Rio Sector) defended the switch from conventional firearms to NLAIMs. Sikes stated that: “Hey, these aren’t just run-of-the-mill paintball guns — I mean these babies are state-of-the-art. Plus you can’t buy our day/night ammo balls in any paintball store. You think glow in the dark capability comes easy? The NLAIM is a sophisticated law enforcement tool, not a toy.”
Sikes also said that the NLAIM lets an Agent respond more effectively than ever before to a border incident. “Look, with a real gun, I mean you can either point it, or shoot it, and we don’t want the latter. The border-crossers we face know we won’t shoot them, so they just run away. At least now we can color-tag them and the choppers can chase ‘em down. We get the job done and no one gets hurt. Plus the NLAIMs are a hoot to shoot. It’s a win-win.”
The United States Border Patrol is a federal law enforcement agency within U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP), a component of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). Currently, the U.S. Border Patrol employs over 20,200 agents, who are specifically responsible for patrolling the 6,000 miles of Mexican and Canadian international land borders. Agents are assigned primarily to the Mexico–United States border. There are 20 Border Patrol sectors, each headed by a Sector Chief Patrol Agent. Currently, U.S. Customs and Border Protection has more sworn law enforcement officers than any other agency in the U.S. Federal government.
Similar Posts:
- U.S. Border Patrol Dominates Nat’l Police Shooting Championship
- ‘Top Cop’ Vadasz Wins Unprecedented Sixth Police Shooting Title
- SHOT Show Shocker: FBI Nabs 22 Firearms Reps at SHOT Show
- Championship .38 Spl Revolver — 11 Years Old and Still Winning
- ATF Reverses Policy on Gun Shipments for Testing and Review
Share the post "U.S. Border Patrol Replaces Guns with NLAIM Paint Markers"
Tags: Alien, Border Patrol, DHS, Firearms, Homeland Security, Immigration, NLAIM, Paintball
What is next paint ball mini-guns on the predators?
This is a joke right? “Gentlemen, prepare to defend yourselves!”
April Fools…gotta be
Outstanding! The Bomber-in-chief has finally come to his senses. Now if they could just get some nice Tommy Bahama uniforms for these gentleman instead of that nasty old green dungarees, we can finally enter the 21st century.
If this isn’t an April fools joke, this country is in WAAAAAY worse shape than I thought we were. This is nothing short of INSANITY. I wouldn’t take a BP job for 250,000 a year!
This site has had great April Fool’s articles, But, it made me think for a second! Well done.
You guys worked a long time on this stuff! Kudos!
Check the date folks!
This works because it is so plausible.
Too cool…. I like the “NLAIM” appellation particularly much. If the concept weren’t so uncomfortably close to the truth – as some politicians would like to have it written – it’s an awesome 4/1 creative effort.
I am concerned for the safety of the BP agents…not all who cross the border are looking for work…many are drug smugglers….and are armed..these could be primary weapons but they should have lethal backup if their life is in danger. I pray for the agents. jim
I’m amazed at how many people commenting on this are failing to realize it’s April Fool’s.
Great April Fools joke for sure.
Please tell me its for april fools.
Like to made me have a high blood pressure fit.
What is wrong with our govt. spending and disarming our front line.
Why don’t they stop spending $$ like drunk sailors and put the cash back to the American economy!
If this isn’t an April fools joke, we’ve got some serious fools to show to the door.
This is the dumbest bunch of garbage I have ever heard in my life. The border patrol agents should go on strike.
What’s sad is in this day & age, a story like this is plausible.
It’s the first day of the fourth month and our esteemed Editor has outdone himself once again. Bravo! Bravo!
How can I fall for this scam every year???
Great April`s fool joke! Kudos!
The sad part is this is even considered possible by those of us reading it.
This should have been so far from reality that it would never have been expected – that alone is a serious problem. Best to consider your course of action should something like this come to pass. Allowing muslims to desecrate the place where 3000+ of our citizens were murdered is a similar act. And what have we done? TALK!
This article, if not true, is grossly irresponsible. If this is not true, this site has compromised its veracity, reliability and reputation. I would like to see either a recantation of this article by the webmaster/editor or a statement that this is true. This country is in deep deep s*** with these in-your-face liberals in charge:to put an article such as this into worldwide dissemination is unconscionable and irresponsible if it is not true.
Editor: This is a satirical story for April Fools Day. You do understand political satire right? However, you may be surprised that, as with all plausible spoofs, the story has a foundation in fact. In 2008, the Border Patrol acquired 1,000 FN-303 paintball guns for test use in the Southwest Border region. Through a DHS contract, these paintball markers were purchased from FNH for $2700.00 each (the same ridiculously high price we cited in our story). The paintball rigs were intended to be deployed against protesters and border “ruffians” who throw rocks at Agents. LINK: http://borderreporter.com/2008/04/border-patrol-to-use-paintball-guns-on-illegal-migrants/
So, dear reader, if you think our spoof will somehow lead to more tomfoolery in Washington… well, DHS and the Border Patrol already got started without our inspiration.
Some doesn’t like April fools
Adam
Yeh, I understand political satire, but you are still very irresponsible, in my book to put this before a public which is politically charged against this bull**** administration. You have totally lost your credibility with me, April Fools or not. I will have nothing further to do with your site.
Yes, I do have a well-developed sense of humor, but it’s not funny when someone yells “Fire’ in a crowded theater, as to which I equate this irresponsible action on your part. When it comes to the ruination of MY country, I have no sense of humor at all. AMF
EDITOR: Let’s see if I get this straight, Mr. Buckley:
1) You don’t like the current administration in Washington.
2) You think the country is headed in the wrong direction.
3) You think a satire that pokes fun at the thinking process of the current administration is irresponsible.
So…You are outraged by a spoof which mocks the decision-making of national leaders because you believe the story is going to make some people (more) disenchanted with Washington? But isn’t that what you want after all… for more Americans to think like you do?
Or are you asserting that large numbers of people are so ignorant (and easily agitated) that they will be inspired by this little parody to do something dangerous such as… what… writing a letter to the Times? Or are you suggesting that the angry masses are going to storm the palace gates? Do you really think an April Fools spoof (easily identified as such) is going to lead to riot and rock-throwing?
Come on, get real. That’s not going to happen. At most the story may get a few hundred folks to smile, pause and think. On reflection, they may wonder what it says about our society that this spoof might, at first blush, seem half-way plausible. That means they will be applying their brains to the current state of affairs, which can hardly be a bad thing.
We’ll leave the discussion at that, which WILL be the last word on this subject, as you have so boldly declared that you “will have nothing further to do with [this] site”. I will take you at your word.
Just like this Adminstration, announe they will not enforce the laws they don’t like, disarm law abiding citizens, allow gun running to Mexico while accusing civilians of doing the same, look the other way when its the Black Panthers or Unions breaking the law, arm game wardens against citizens, not disarm our Border Agents.
Anyone not beleiving they are NOT supporting what methods made American great yet?
Dick your name suits you. Go hit the range and cool off.
wow the sad part about all of this is that I totally believed Napolitano is capable of this type of bafoonery
OK, that’s pretty funny. I did have to read it twice. Good thing I decided to wait on setting myself on fire in protest.
Emil, thanks for not setting yourself on fire.
We need your help on our Voodoo Accuracy book sequel: Voodoo II — Wind Reading
I got a real clue from the spelling of ‘die/dye’ and was totally aware of the date. However, the insane woman who is in charge of Homeland “security” is perfectly capable of reading this and actually thinking it would really work. And then she would do it!
Lou: You were the only eagle-eye to pick up on that spelling subtlety so I changed it back to normal (“dye” for a color). As noted in a response to a previous comment, the DHS has already, in fact, purchased $2700.00 paintball guns (1000 of them). The Agency has just not taken the next step of requiring their use in place of real firearms.
Well this site has a long history of April 1st jokes so at least there is a good influx of new readers?!
I look forward to the April Fools joke each year especially after last years vitamin fortified edible bullet story. Good we don’t have to be serious all the time.
Each year outdoes the previous. I will continue to follow religiously.
Wemaster, where are you? I remember attending a recent state match where all the top shooters were people of color–much to the consternation of the regular good ol’ boys. I find it appalling that this forum–one which I “used” to frequent–would allow this to occur here. You should be ashamed of yourself and apologize to everyone for your ignorant comments which do nothing to further intelligent dialogue, but rather enforce infantile stereotypes. Is it any wonder why the vast majority of Americans view our sport as some sort of backwoods-Hillbilly compensation for inadequacy?
EDITOR: I’m somewhat puzzled by your comment. There are no derogatory terms in the Spoof Story directed at any particular racial/ethnic group. We did use the term “border-crossers” to describe people crossing the border. Do you have a problem with that? The reality is that the USA has over 20,000 Border Patrol Agents, most of whom are stationed on the US-Mexico border because that is where the overwhelming majority of unauthorized border crossings take place. That is a fact. It is also a fact that three years ago the Border Patrol, at the behest of DHS, acquired 1,000 paintball guns at a cost of $2.7 million and these marker guns were issued in the southwest border zones ONLY. The stated purpose for acquiring those devices was to deal with protesters and rock-throwers who assaulted Agents along the US-Mexico border. The United States has a very real problem with unauthorized immigration, and that is not my “ignorant” opinion — it is also the acknowledged view of virtually every federal law enforcement official in the country — from the President on down. Recall that it was President Obama who deployed 1,200 National Guard troops on the southern border just last year. If, as you think, it should be “off-limits” to even discuss the immigration problem, for fear of “reinforcing stereotypes”, then there is absolutely no way the very real immigration crisis will ever be addressed in a satisfactory fashion.
Separately, I think this website has done more than most to recognize and encourage participation in the shooting sports by all groups in our society, young and old, men and women, of all ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and all national origins. See for example: http://bulletin.accurateshooter.com/2009/08/nra-smallbore-silhouette-championships-conclude-today/
If you think this site has some kind of racist/hillbilly bias against people of color, or women, or people from other countries, then you haven’t spent much time reading the actual content of our stories and match reports.
EDITOR: I assure you that “resorting to racial comments” is NOT the ideology of this website. As for the comments you cited below, I think you do not understand irony, nor do you realize that “Tommy Bahama” is a line of clothing: http://www.tommybahama.com/ . The commenter was using irony to suggest that the prevailing “politically correct” attitudes in Washington might prefer that Border Agents be dressed in non-threatening pastel sportswear rather than paramilitary-style green fatigues. Again, I don’t see anything in either post which has anything to do with race or creed, nor “extreme feelings of inadequacy.” Give it a rest.
With regards to “blatant racial epithets” in forum threads. Show them to me, and I’ll delete them instantly. Such comments are against the rules. There is a button in every Forum post allowing you, with a single click, to flag any comment that offends. May I remind you that there are hundreds of thousands of posts in the Forum. I suspect that if you went to ANY popular forum, even those maintained by civil rights organizations, you would find comments that you might find unsettling. That an isolated comment might appear certainly gives you no legitimate basis to condemn the organization that hosts the forum, or suggest that one commenter’s views somehow reflect an official “ideology”, particularly when offensive postings of ANY kind are proscribed by Forum rules, and are regularly removed when identified.
Below are the comments posted on this thread. I have more than once come across blatant racial epithets in other forum threads from this website, but today i just can’t help myself from commenting. This IS shameful. I realize that extreme feelings of inadequacy fuel the hissing, but resorting to racial comments is endemic behavior and reflects the ideology of this website and its viewers. As for Turd B and Kent…their own existence is clearly what torments them.
Turd B says:
April 1, 2011 at 7:18 am
Outstanding! The Bomber-in-chief has finally come to his senses. Now if they could just get some nice Tommy Bahama uniforms for these gentleman instead of that nasty old green dungarees, we can finally enter the 21st century. Well done, Nappy!
kent says:
April 2, 2011 at 8:05 pm
wow the sad part about all of this is that I totally believed nap. is capable of this type of bafoonery
The concerned reader must have taken the Napolitano nickname “Nappy” as a racial epithet. My concern is that in our current political climate any criticism of the administration can be/is labeled racist.
If that word offends those who mistakenly failed to realize it refers to Napolitano, then I’ll take it out. It is ironic that someone who accuses others of innate racism has a brain that ignores context and processes the Director’s oft-used nickname as a racial slur. Who is really guilty of prejudice I wonder?
Editor, don’t change a thing in the original. You got it right the first time.
Think this insanity? Read the other articles and you will see that in the latest rimfire competition in Europe they were required to use LASER RIFLES…. not actual ammunition and a fervent anti-gunner was assigned as head of BATF. I just hope Napalitano doesn’t cut and paste this article for her next news conference.
I must be missing something here. I fail to see the “slurs” in those posts. Perhaps we, as a culture, have become to politically correct and paranoid.
As a person who uses a wheelchair, I encounter statements and phrases from people all the time that could be construed as slurs toward me or others with a disability. Perhaps a few of those are meant to be malicious slurs toward people with disabilities, but I feel that most are not. I am certainly not the center of the universe, and try to not take myself too seriously.
Life is much too short to be a hater.
Wow! Great joke. Was not aware of your website. Came here after my morning radio co-host came in this morning with this article. He passed it along to our listeners and man you would have loved it! He was enraged that this could happen in America. I, without having been prepped beforehand, asked him to check the date on the article, because if it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke, it should be. He grew quiet, but apparently had not read the comments, so he thought there was a possibility it could be true. Later in the day, I checked online before finding your website……and after reading several other articles dating back to 2008, I thought this policy was for real. Then I came here. Wow! As a radio station crew that has played numerous April Fool’s Day pranks over the past 30 years, let me just say for all us backwoods hillbillies…..GREAT JOB.
Always amazes me how we have become so politically correct that we are no longer allowed to have a sense of humor. Sad, really.
“Good up to 50ft”? What happens when the illegal is 60ft away and has an AK-47? Look for some job openings along the border.
It don’t surprise me look ho incharge.If we don’t vote this mess out
our county will be over run. It’s funny
but this is serious.
Great April fool’s joke. I see you hooked a lot of fish with this one.
All the best,
GB
I’m sorry but this will not be effective in detering people from slipping over the border and going thru proper channels. I’m sure all crimminals will love this. I’m sure they will love being able to pass from their country to ours with out any danger or reprocussion. Pretty soon they will drive trucks carrying drugs, illegals, guns and what ever else they can sell here. Are you going to pave the paths so it will beeasier to come across the boarder
Why aren’t we protecting our borders from criminals and illegals.
Why are we not protecting our brave border patrol agents. How many have we lost so far? How many will we lose in the future because they can not protect themselves. Next thing we will issue paint ball guns to our police, soldiers. What kind of America are leaving for our children. Dear God protect us because no one else will.
Joke … or truth … it well captures the road upon which Uncle Sam is headed – we need a man like Congressman Alan West at the helm!
Respectfully to the Colonel – ALLEN West
I missed “The Onion” masthead on this article. Its January 3, not April 1.
“I have the greatest faith in our men and women in the Border force”, adding that “we are now giving those Agents viable non-lethal technologies with which they can carry out their duties”.
I wonder how long it will take for the guns recovered from the agents to show up in the hands of those shooting at them.